Swollen Pickles

When I saw the first Transformers movie, I can't say I was all that impressed with what I saw. I guess I shouldn't have expected so much from a movie that is essentially based on a toy. So with my expectations suitably lowered after the first film, I went along to catch Transformers 2: Rise of the Fallen. It's clearly a big screen, big budget, big bucket of popcorn type movie. It's packed full of stuff you'd expect. Fast cars, hot chicks and robots in disguise beating the steel out of one another.

Transformers 2 opens with Sam (Shia LaBouf) about to head off to college leaving his super hot girlfriend (Megan Fox) behind. It's not long before he drops a piece of the spark (a carry over from the first film) and we have some robots in disguise wrecking havoc in his kitchen. Look, I'll be blunt, the plot could really be summarised on the back of a postage stamp. Young dude heads to college, leaves girlfriend at home, is tempted by another hot chick, and is then, against his will, forced to save the planet from bad robots in disguise. Lots of robot fights later, the fate of the world rests in Sam's hands, and I'm sure you can figure out what happens from there. There's really nothing more to the movie than that. It's big and it's dumb. With that said though, I enjoyed it. Maybe that says a lot for me?

Now, I have some Transformers questions. This time around (if you've read any of the films press this will be no surprise - otherwise SPOILER ALERT) the evil forces of the Decepticons have a "human" model. Pretty, yet personality free, Isabel Lucas features as a potential love interest for Sam. A hot chick who looks hell bent on stealing him away from hotter Megan Fox. The sting in the tail, so to speak comes when Isabel Lucas is revealed to be an evil Decepticon. Now, my question is, why don't all the Decepticons just transform into various hot chicks and/or world leaders, and take over the planet that way? Why would you transform into a cement mixer when you could walk and talk amongst real people without alerting anyone? And why was there only one "human" transformer? Do they cost more to make? Are they Energon guzzlers? It made no sense and for me, and was the stupidest part of the whole movie.

So to summarise, Transformers 2 was a guilty pleasure. I found myself enjoying it, despite finding myself groaning at it's stupidity. I'd give it a solid 3 out of 5.

TRANSFORMERS AUTOBOT MUDFLAP

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US $15.99

15m

Hot on the heals of the Snuggie, here comes another must buy product direct from the US, the "Comfort Wipe". They screened this infomercial on Rove last night, but in case you aren't familiar with this revolutionary product that allows you to wipe your ass while maintaining your dignity, here it is...

I'm wondering when and why a person would need 18 inches of extension? To get into those hard to reach places? WTF??

With the anticipation of the next installment of the Transformers franchise continues to build, the films stars have hit the promotional trail to make sure it's not a box office bomb.

Here in Australia, we had former Home and Away starlet Isabel Lucas talking the talk. She appeared on Rove Sunday night, and I have to say, she is damn lucky she's easy on the eye, because otherwise she'd have all the appeal of a three week old burrito.

If you're after 8mins of flat out excitement you can watch the interview below.

According to the fountain of knowledge, Wikipedia, Lucas "suffered a minor head injury in July 2008 in a car accident while she was a passenger in, Transformers co-star, Shia LaBeouf's car". Maybe she still suffering some super delayed side effects.

Here's a little more, with Ross Noble attempting to inject her with a little personality.

TTS1011W Official Transformers 2 Movie Autobot T Shirt

1 Bid

US $4.99

15m

TTS1017B Official Transformers 2 Movie Optimus T Shirt

0 Bid

US $4.99

15m

I crawled along to the movies this weekend to catch "The Hangover". Directed by Todd Phillips, the guy behind Old School and Road Trip, "The Hangover" follows the trials and tribulations of a group of four friends who travel to Les Vegas for a bachelor party. Hilarity ensues when three of the guys wake up the next morning, with memory loss, and without the groom, whose wedding is scheduled for the next day.

The film stars Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, and Heather Graham, and with the exception of Bradley Cooper (Sydney Bristow's old housemate from Alias) and Heather Graham, I hadn't seen any of the other actors in any major roles before.

So three guys wake up in a plush hotel suite that looks like it's been done over by the Who and Led Zepplin in the same night. One guy is missing a tooth, there is a baby in the closet, a tiger in the toilet, a chicken running around and a smoking lounge chair. The room has everything, besides the groom. The three buddies then turn hung over detectives, attempting to retrace their steps from the previous evening, in order to track down there lost amigo. The film rolls on from there. Think "Dude Where's My Car" but funny.

The Hangover was laugh out loud funny. There aren't really any flat spots, and thankfully the film steers away from a deep and meaningful conclusion. Zach Galifianakis as the socially awkward, soon to be brother-in-law, Alan is a stand-out. He's random and weird.

If you are after no-brainer laughs, go check out The Hangover. Overall, 4 out of 5 pickles.

During the previews I also saw the teaser trailer for the new Sacha Baren Cohen film Bruno. It looks like a cracker.

When it comes to taking awesome photographs, timing is everything. It can make the difference between a dud shot and a money shot. Here are some great examples of photos taken at just the moment.

First up, a man and his camel. Now I realize the guy was only trying to mount the camel, but it still looks a little suss...

Elite sport is big on the whole team bonding thing, but maybe this is taking the bonding a little far.

As is this...

Keeping to the sports theme this one had to be awkward, particularly for the judging panel.

Reading the weather is fraught with danger, and the potential for awkwardness is but one weather pattern again.

That's all for now.

May has run it's course so it's time once again for the goal update. I was slack throughout May. Very slack. So slack that I didn't actually do an update for April. The last couple of months have been hectic and I feel kind of like a circus clown juggling 80 chainsaws.

Goal Number One: Develop Swollen Pickles into a website that can generate $350US per month.

May was the best month in the history of Swollen Pickles. In total the site brought in $137.54, down slightly from the $143.59 that it scored in April. Perhaps Swollen Pickles is not recession proof?

Goal Number Two: Develop Swollen Pickles into a website that receives 35,000 unique visits per month.

In May the number of unique visitors to Swollen Pickles passed my target, with 39,084 unique visits. This compares to 34,308 in April. Nice.

Goal Number Three: Exercise a minimum of three times per week (30 plus minutes per session).

I'm glad to report that I have, for the most part, been able to stick to this target. There have been a couple of weeks where I've had trouble getting in to the gym, but I've tried to make up for that through healthier eating and a bit extra walking.

Goal Number Four: Achieve a Body Mass Index (BMI) within the "Normal" range (from 18.5 to 25).

I'm really happy with my progress on this one. I started the year at 29, and by the end of May I was down to 27.8. Still a lot of work to go but progress is progress!

Goal Number Five: Reduce my waist measurement to below 94cm.

I really should ditch this goal since I have no base from which to start, and haven't got hold of a tape. Maybe I should change this goal to "go to a sewing shop and buy a measuring tape".

In other news... go check out Banalytics. I like it cos it's banal... and cos it's Blankshootings. Here's a taste, and commentary on Social Media. Ahhh... funny cos it's true.

The first Left 4 Dead first person shooter on the Xbox 360 was a cracker of a game. Stupid, mindless, fun. If the teaser trailer for Left 4 Dead 2 is anything to go by, it looks like its makers have upped the ante in terms of splatter and potential for gore. The apparent introduction of a chainsaw is a master stroke.

Check out the trailer below.

If you're into the zombie survival horror thing, check out The Walking Dead comic series. I've read the first eight trade paper backs (or 48 issues) and it's awesome.

The Walking Dead Vol 1 9 TPB Collection Brand New

8 Bids

US $39.50

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The Walking Dead 9 Image Comics 2009 TPB 1st printing

5 Bids

US $3.02

36m

The Walking Dead Original Soundtrack CD

US $2.50

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