Walking out of the cinema after watching 300 last night, I didn't exactly know what to think. I was both impressed and disappointed. Yes, the movie was a visual orgy (or 'vorgy'), but character development and dialogue wise it could have been cooked up by a preschool kid.

It was a 'manly' movie, but at the same time, it also drifted down the "Big Gay Al" route. When the Persian King first hit the screen, you'd be forgiven for thinking that a float from the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras had taken a wrong turn and somehow ended up in Sparta.

The voice overs and repeated speeches started to grate after about five minutes, and you couldn't help feeling that the Persians were attacking in the hope that the Spartans would just shut the hell up!

There were weird mutant things, a massive blob guy with sword arms (who deserved far more screen time) and some intense people skewering. With that being said, 300 was no where near as gory as I was expecting. Yes, there were decapitations and dismemberment, but they weren't as sick looking as the stuff you'd see in a movie like Saw.

Computer technology obviously played a big part in the film which leads me to my biggest question. Were the Queens nipples digitally enhanced? Holy geez those things could have taken an eye out! I kept expecting her breasts to start scratching the decks like in the Mentos commercial.

All in all, I was impressed with the look of 300 but felt it was let down by some of the poxiest dialogue committed to celluloid. At the end of the night, I left for home impressed, but without the chubby expected after viewing cinematic viagra.