The second part of the Sacred Wingman Handbook series. Please refer to section one of the handbook to bring yourself up to speed with the terminology.

SNAPSHOT OF A FLIGHT MISSION

Part. 1 : Target Sighted!

FL: “I’m getting hella pinged by the redhead in the corner. I spy a solitary bogie. It’s gonna be a milk run.”
WM: “Oh good. ‘Cuz after last time, my rep is a little ragged and—”
FL: “Nix that recon! Two more bogies are buzzing on the peripheral.”
WM: “Three bogies? It’s Pig Alley! And look at them! They’re all Brumhildas! I’ll be eaten alive!” FL: “That’s why I want you for this mission. You’re the best damn shoot and scooter in the business.”
WM: “I . . . I . . . I won’t do it. You can’t make me.” FL: “Goddamn you! I went kamikaze for you last week, didn’t I? Let me get you a banzai.”
WM: (whimpering softly) “All right. All right.”
FL: “Here’s how it’s going down: I’ll give you a one-minute lead in. You shoot and scoot like a motherf**ker, and for Godsakes watch your six, heaven knows how many more CBs she brought with her. Give me the high sign when it’s safe for me to boom in, and once we attain air superiority, I’ll yank and bank with the betty. And let’s leave that clunky landing gear behind, shall we? You’re going to be eating a lot of flak and I don’t want it slowing you down.”
WM: “Dude, you are going to so owe me.”

Points to Remember After the BT has been "reconned", it’s always best if the wingman goes in first. If he wings in with the FL or after, it will smack of a setup. Once the wingman has successfully engaged the CB, the FL sweeps in, first making contact with the wingman, then turning his attention to the BT.

The moment the conversation is rolling, the FL will want to focus fully on the BT, so the wingman should attempt to lure the CB to the dance floor, jukebox, pool table or bar. If the CB refuses to budge, the FL will attempt to “yank and bank” the BT well out of cock blocking range.

A good wingman will accept the fact that he will most likely have to remain with the CB for the rest of evening, because once he breaks off the attack, the CB will make a beeline to the BT and try to shoot down the FL.

Keeping the CB pinned down is not always easy. The wingman must use all his charms to keep her entertained, he must listen to psyche-grating life-stories, he will learn the names of all her cats and all their wonderful little quirks. And if need be, he will feign romantic interest.

When closing time rolls around, a lesser wingman will wish his FL all the luck in the world and hightail it home. A good wingman, however, will carry on his mission even though it extends to someone’s domicile, knowing full well he will find himself deep in enemy airspace, and may be asked to make the ultimate sacrifice.

Part 2 brought to you by: party invitations