The fourth and final part of the Sacred Wingman Handbook series. Please refer to section one of the handbook to bring yourself up to speed with the terminology.

SNAPSHOT OF A FLIGHT MISSION

Pt. 3: Dive! Dive!

“Go ahead and break, I have to use the men’s room,” the wingman tells the blimp and wings it back to the strike zone.

It’s immediately evident that the FL is going down in flames. The Sister is hanging on the BT’s arm and whispering in her ear and the Brumhilda is unleashing a “Let’s go somewhere else” salvo.

It’s time for desperation tactics.

“Hey, who wants a shot?” he fires off and unsurprisingly they all agree. He ushers the CBs toward the bar while slipping his FL a “yank and bank” signal. The FL’s eyes light up with hope and he stalls the BT halfway to the bar.

The wingman glances back at the brooding blimp, who looks as if she’s ready to float back to the BT. Thinking quickly, he waves the blimp over with a “come do a shot” gesture. She starts drifting in his direction. He orders three girly shots and one banzai. “What about Beth and your friend?” the Brumhilda asks. “Let them get their own,” the wingman says, glancing back at the laughing couple.

“Here’s to me, the best pool player in town,” he baits. The CBs scoff and the wingman makes his move: “Yeah? Well, I’ll bet you the next round that me and the bli—that me and my partner here can whip the hell out of you two girlies.”

Her feminist pride stung, the Brumhilda growls, “You’re on.”

His FL, deep in conversation with the BT, gives him an almost imperceptible nod of approval as the wingman escorts the CBs to the pool table.

I am the best in the business, he thinks, then flinches as he feels the blimp’s arm encircle his waist. He looks into her voracious eyes and she says, “Hey partner, do you want to go to a party later?” His knees buckle a little and he gropes for a pool cue to steady himself. “Maybe so,” he says, thinking: “That motherf**ker is going to owe me more than some freakin Ogio golf apparel!