Archive for April 2008

I haven't had a lot of spare time lately, hence lack of updates, but in the minutes I have had, I've read a few "graphic novels". Here's what I've been reading.

Captain America by Ed Brubaker Omnibus, Vol. 1

The "Omnibus" is an epic collection of Ed Brubaker's run on Captain America. It collects Captain America #1-25, Captain America 65th Anniversary Special and Winter Soldier: Winter Kills one-shot.

The entire collection builds, with splashes of espionage and shield bashing action, to a climax in which Captain America is assassinated. It's a heavy book, literally. Hard cover with 700+ pages. I really only picked this book up based on the hype surrounding "the death of an American icon". To be perfectly honest, I found the Captain America character a little bland. His character flaw was that he didn't really have any flaws. Doesn't do much to build tension.

With that said, the 25 issue run is as much about the Winter Soldier as it is Captain America, which I found to be a good thing. The only danger with the Winter Soldier character is that he goes down the path to becoming a watered down Wolverine, 'ooohh I've lost my memories, I'm sooo tortured' kind of guy.

All up, the Omnibus is solid, literally, started out slowly, but did enough to keep me interested in picking up issues 26-35. I'd give it 3.5 out of 5.

Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America

This five issue collection features five interlinked stories of other characters within the Marvel universe coming to terms with Captain America's death. The first story features Wolverine, looking to deliver his own brand of justice following Captain America's assassination. Good stuff.

The second focuses on the Avengers as they head to their first mission following "the death". This one focuses on the crappy Avengers, rather than the cool New Avengers. Left me feeling mheh.

The third looks back at Captain America. This one wasn't so bad. The forth story, focused on Spider-man. David Finch is a great artist, so the pictures were fantastic, just a shame Spider-man came across as a whiny emo douche. The fifth story features the actual public memorial and funeral for Captain America.

Overall, this trade paperback is probably one of those you could take or leave, depending on how much you go in for the whole "death of an icon" thing. I'd give it 3 out of 5.

Batman: The Man Who Laughs

This collection of two major Batman stories was also written by Ed Brubaker. The first story covers one of the first meetings of Batman and the Joker. I really enjoyed this story, and this trade paper back was worth picking up for the first story alone... which is lucky, as the second story, focusing on the Green Lantern is a stinker. Clearly I'm no Green Lantern fan.

I purchased this book thinking it was all Joker (don't get fooled by the cover!), and an origin type story, which the first story partly is, however, the second story has nothing to do with the first, and has zero Joker content.

Story one I'd give 4 out of 5, story two, 1 out of 5.

Wolverine: Origins Volume 4 - Our War

The latest trade in the Wolverine Origins series, written by Daniel Way and illustrated by Steve Dillion. Volume 4 was by far the most interesting in the Origins series to date. It features Wolverine visiting the memorial for Captain America, and recalling their first meeting in World War 2. There was no real mention of Wolverine's son or any of that other stuff that has polluted the first three volumes, it was just Wolverine reliving some of his past. Simple, but good. The one thing that consistently lets this book down is the art. I'm sure Dillion is a top bloke, and clearly he can draw, but I just don't think his style suits Wolverine. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I don't want Wolverine looking like Sylvester Stallone.

The closing panels hint at a special guest that will guarantee that I pick up Volume 5. Deadpool is hired to bring down Wolverine. This'll be a good chance to see what Way and Dillion can do with Deadpool, as the word on the street is that they will work on his solo series. I just hope they don't screw it up!

Volume 4 also features the first Wolverine Origin Annual, which tells a story of Wolverine as a POW in a Nazi prison camp. Interesting and macabre at the same time.

This volume gave me hope for the future of the series, I'd give it a solid 3.5 out of 5.

I've just finished ploughing through the first season of Dexter, and I have to say, this is one show that is deserving of the hype. The first season features 12 episodes, each running a touch over 50 mins, but each one leaves you wanting more.

Dexter is a forensics expert working for the Miami Police Department. But he has a secret. He's also a serial killer, living by a code, the "code of Harry". The code of Harry was taught to him by his adoptive father, and ensures that as a serial killer, Dexter only kills those he deems deserve it. Killers, pedophiles, rapists all fall victim to Dexter's need to kill. That's not to say that Dexter kills to make the world a better place. He kills because he enjoys it, and his belief that his victims deserve it is just a pleasant by-product.

The first season deals with Dexter's attempts to fit into society, and maintain the illusion of normality, whilst dealing with the appearance of a new serial killer operating in Miami, the Ice Truck Killer.

Dexter is not a conventional crime drama. It's nothing like CSI or Law and Order. What it is, is far more compelling. As a viewer you are conflicted. Dexter is at times charming, whilst always detached and cold. As the series progresses, and the tension over whether or not Dexter's secret double life will be exposed builds, you find yourself hoping he won't get caught, whilst at the same time wondering why your essentially barracking for the lesser of two evils.

As you'd expect, Dexter does feature a little gore now and then, so it's probably not for the squeamish. But if you want to watch a crime/drama with a difference, then I'd most definitely give Dexter two thumbs up. Now I only need to remain patient and wait for season 2 to come out on DVD. Now I'm going to have to track down the novels the show is based on...

If you haven't seen the Family Guy's take on Star Wars: Episode Four yet, then you are most definitely missing out. Blue Harvest is a solid gold pi$$ take of the classic George Lucas monster. Chris Griffin stars as Luke Skywalker, Peter Griffin as Han Solo, Brian as Chewbacca, Lois as Princess Leia and Stewie as Darth Vadar.

Creepy Herbert as Obi Wan kind of freaked me out, and his limp light saber will forever be etched in my memory.

Here's the Blue Harvest trailer to give you a taste.

Personally, this is one of my favorite Family Guy clips, it's not from Blue Harvest, but it fits.

If Blue Harvest wasn't enough to satisfy your Star Wars thirst, then maybe it's time you looked further afield.

This first clip is the trailer for Turkish Star Wars II. The world needed a Turkish version of Star Wars, and this trailer just confirms that.

You just need to watch the closing scene of Turkish Star Wars to realise you've been missing out on celluloid gold. It is a particularly nice touch when scenes from the original Lucas produced Star Wars is spliced into the Turkish version.

In terms of the keywords that people use to find swollenpickles.com, not a lot has changed in the past few months. Of the top 20 search terms this month, 14 of those are camel toe, or some camel toe derivative. Incredible.

Trawling through the statistics, there were a few search terms that raised an eye brow. Here's a selection.

"naomi robson sex tape" - I didn't know that such a tape existed? Even if it does, not sure how it led people here.
"dog swollen butt" - This may be some weird fetish?
"old people orgy" - Disturbing, but I brought this one on myself, for the January 2007 expose' "Old people kicked out of nursing home after orgy".
"bathroom behavior in the workplace" - Maybe they were looking for a 'how to' guide by found "The sad decline in toilet etiquette" instead.
"camel toe racing" - What? They race now?
""little people" pickles" - My personal favourite. Which leads me once again to this little nugget of YouTube gold... that's right...

LITTLE PEOPLE Vs. ELEPHANT

Who will win in this age old grudge match.

2008 is a big year for the comic book film adaptation. There's Ironman, Batman, and the Incredible Hulk all hitting cinemas within the next few months.

The Dark Knight viral marketing campaign has kicked up another notch. Go check out the "Clown Travel Agency". If you surf around a bit you'll end up getting pointed toward ACME security systems. It gets curiouser and curiouser. One of my favourite blogs, "For the Love of Comics" has the full low down, so check it out.

The promotions machine behind the Incredible Hulk have released some new images from the film, as well as the promotional poster. Things are starting to look interesting, let's just hope this version does not stray into the stinker zone that the previous 'Hulk' film did.

The promo poster.

The Incredible Hulk Promo Poster

The Hulk in action.

The Incredible Hulk

The movies 'villain', the Abomination.

Following my completion of Halo 3, I quickly popped the next game on my 'to do' list into the Xbox 360, Kane and Lynch: Dead Men. Kane and Lynch is an action/shooter style game borrowing some elements from the Hitman games as well as a hint of Gears of War (particularly the crouching behind cover feature).

I've seen it get mixed reviews, and to some extent I can understand why, but Kane and Lynch is not a bad game. No doubt it'll get some people off side thanks to it's liberal use of the "F" bomb, and even the occasional "C" grenade, as well as it's take no prisoners violence and story line, but then, those are probably the things I'd expect to find in a game focused on the exploits of two escaped death row convicts.

Throughout the main 'campaign' you play as Kane. Kane is "a flawed mercenary", on death row, for an unrevealed crime. Kane is busted out of prison by his former employers, a shadowy group called The7. These guys are obviously bad news, and from the beginning it seems Kane screwed them over on a job, leaving them to burn, and taking the loot for himself. He's given an ultimatum, retrieve the contents of a mysterious case, or his wife and daughter will be killed. The7 assign another death row inmate, Lynch, "a medicated psychpath", to monitor Kane in his progress, and help him where necessary. That signals the start of all the hijinks that span missions in the US, Japan and Havana.

Game play wise Kane and Lynch was simple and addictive. While you play as Kane, you are also able to issue orders to Lynch, and any other mercenaries that join you for certain missions. In many respects the game play could be compared to Hitman: Blood Money, if you replaced the 'stealth' aspects of Hitman with the run and gun aspects of Gears of War. If you are familiar with Hitman, this game will take you all of 2 seconds to become accustomed to.

You can't take to many hits before you hit the deck, however, so long as an ally is nearby, that can quickly administer 'first aid' in the form of adrenalin shots. Also, as you take more damage, things start to get a little hazy, which is an interested effect.

I actually found the story line for this game to be quite good, and I'm not surprised that there are rumors of Lionsgate turning the game into a movie, with Bruce Willis and Billy Bob Thorntan were rumored a candidates for the Kane and Lynch roles at one point.

One criticism I have with the game is that it was quite easy in patches. It was a quick game to get through. It probably has the potential for greater replay-ability though as compared to Hitman, which I guess is a positive.

In summary, Kane and Lynch was a decent game, not for the faint hearted or easily offended. I'm docking points because of the ease of completion, but if you can pick this up as a 'platinum edition' game then it'd be worth it. I'll give it 3.5/5.

Without too much fuss I finished Halo 3 on the weekend. That's not to say I found it a bad game, I just didn't find that it lived up to the hype and expectation I'd had following Halo 2.

Gameplay wise, Halo 3 is largely the same as Halo 2. Point, shoot, kill, run, point, shoot kill, duck, point shoot kill... etc. It's classic first person shooter stuff, and it's enjoyable. It just didn't rock my world the way I'd hoped. After playing Call of Duty 4 I found Halo 3 to be lacking in style, difficulty and excitement. Weapons and enemies are all largely the same as those from Halo 2. The new addition is the 'equipment' feature, which allows you to pick up things like shields and auto-sentries, to use at your leisure. It's a nice touch.

The game begins with the Master Chief crash landing on earth, to find that the Covenant have all but wiped out the human resistance. The Master Chief is charged to bust the Covenant party up. After notching a number of Covenant kills, the Flood crash land on earth. It's part of some big plan the Flood 'Gravemind' hatched. All going well you jet off to another planet, save the day, and if you stick around until the end of the credits, learn that the Master Chief survives. Halo 4 anyone?

All in all, the plot in Halo 3 becomes "nonsensical". Having just finished the game, I'd struggle to recall any major plot points. I've heard rumours the Halo franchise will be turned into a movie, but based on the last two installments, it's going to be very hard work for the screen writer. One slightly annoying facet of the game is the number of 'false' conclusions. The last 4 or so stages all feel like the end of the game, and it's almost like the plot was stretched out to accommodate more game play.

In summary, while you'd no longer consider it ground breaking Halo 3 is a good enough game. It seems to have been developed using the 'if it aint broke don't fix it' model, which is not necessarily a bad thing, however with games like Gears of War and Call of Duty 4 on the market, you could be forgiven for wanting more.

I'd give it a 3.5 out of 5.

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