Captain Australia

23 Oct 2 comments

It's no secret that I'm a big fan of comic books (I just finished reading Batman: Face the Face).

Anyway, today I stumbled across the "Create Your Own Superhero" application on the Marvel Kids website. It took me a good minute and a half to get over my excitement, after which time I sat down and created a couple of Swollen Super Heroes.

First Swollen Hulk. I like to think Swollen Hulk would be a stylish looking dude, and self conscious about his green skin tone to the point he applies bucket loads of fake tan.

Swollen Hulk would be a real hit with the ladies. Anyway, I found Swollen Hulk to be a little disappointing, so I set about creating the best hero never created...
CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA!

In my mind, Captain Australia would wear an Akubra and a blue chesty Bonds singlet. He'd carry a shot gun so he could impress his mates, and his utility belt would hold two emergency cans of VB (that's beer people). He'd wear jeans, because jeans can double as casual wear or formal wear, depending on the occasion.

I reckon Captain Australia is awesome. He'd tell all the bad guys to just bugger off so he could go drinking with his mates. He'd turn up to fight crime in his V8 ute with his trusty side kick Bluey, the Blue Heeler, by his side.