A state of indifference

Apathy: a state of indifference, or the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation and passion.

It's been almost two months since I last posted anything here. It's not that I haven't thought about it. I have. I've even started writing. I'll get one or two sentences down, and lose interest, before hitting the 'delete' button. If I can't muster up enough enthusiasm to get a paragraph down, why should I expect anyone to read it?

Based on the comments people have been leaving lately, it would seem that the only people reading this are either web site owners, looking to leave a token comment along with a link to their website, or people who can't get passed the fact that not everyone thinks 300 is the greatest film ever made.

I've had a revised 'theme' sitting in the can 95% ready for implementation for the past few months, however I haven't been able to muster the motivation to knock over that last 5%. To me that's not a great sign, and one that leads me to the inevitable question, 'why am I doing this?'

I started this site up over five years ago for one simple reason, to see if I could do it. It wasn't about the number of visitors, it wasn't about the content and it wasn't even about making some extra coin. It was simply to see if I could set up a functioning website and maintain it. I guess I ticked that box. After a while, people started to actually visit. From there I figured that if people visited, then I could probably put some ads up to fund the whole experiment. Then it became about making money to pay the hosting bills.

Where is this all heading? I don't know. Where will this site be in twelve months? I don't know. Maybe I need a month on a tropical island to refocus and figure out what it is I'm trying to achieve, both with this site, and elsewhere. Maybe I'll focus in on a niche, or maybe I'll just post stuff that amuses me. I don't know. I do know that five years is a long time to maintain the status quo.

Emo rant over.

1 Comment on A state of indifference

  1. Well I’ve got to say something to note a major reason a lot of website owners come here- you’ve offered some insight speaking from experience. Often in or surroundd by a light-hearted way. I found your website by seeing on SOMEONE ELES’s page your “dity bandwidth” image. hahaha

    On the note of focus, I’ve found it hard too a few times. It’s especially difficult for me at times of the year where my “real job” picks up. I don’t have much time to post and sometimes things come to mind which I REALLY want to post, yet have not the time to make a quality post. I just got a voice recorder though which I had been using every day up until I lost it. All in all- video games seem to be my biggest “demotivator” for blogging and web design though. I want to get paid to game again, but it’s hard to find enough time to remain the best at a game and manage myself with sponsors / web material at the same time.

    Good luck with clarity! In case it helps, I like to read famous quotes… http://quotedb.com/ type in motivation, life, boredom, or just click around…. etc you know lol just offering some ideas. Later man!

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