Ricky Gervais Golden Globes quotes

If you couldn't sit through the Golden Globes, you probably missed the performance of Ricky Gervais. As host for the Awards, Ricky didn't pull any punches, delivering more of what you'd expect from him, "edgy" stand-up, poking fun at celebrities. Taking the p!ss out of celebrities is a stand-up staple, generally* though, the p!ss-taker does not share the same room as his/her subject matter.

The organisers behind the Awards show should not really be shocked, or able to raise their hands with a "... but we didn't know", as he really just picks up from where he left off at the 2010 Golden Globes.

Around this time last year the Guardian asked "Did Ricky Gervais shine at the Golden Globes?":

His performance, though, wasn't hard-hitting enough for some: the Hollywood Reporter called him "toothless", and sure enough, he did pull some punches. Joking about Mel Gibson's drinking is one thing – but off the leash, Gervais would surely make hay with Gibson's anti-Semitism too.

That, alas, is never going to happen at an event as stage-managed as the Globes – nor from a man as palpably delighted to be a Hollywood insider as Gervais.

This time around Gervais took another swipe at Gibson while introducing crowd favorite - OK one of my favorites - Scarlett Johansson:

"Our first presenter is beautiful, talented, and Jewish apparently. Mel Gibson told me that. He’s obsessed. Please welcome Scarlett Johansson."

Some of Ricky's other quotable quotes - read the ones most likely to offend - included:

“It’s going to be a night of partying and heaving drinking, or as Charlie Sheen calls it: breakfast.”

“Do you want to go see Cher? No. Why not? Because it’s not 1975.”

“Also not nominated I Love You Phillip Morris. Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor. Two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay. So, the complete opposite of some famous Scientologist… My lawyers helped me with the wording of that joke.”

“Next up, Eva Longoria has the daunting task of introducing the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press. That’s nothing, I had just had to help him off the toilet and pop his teeth in.”

“Everything this year was three-dimensional, except the characters in The Tourist. I feel bad about that joke. I’m jumping on the bandwagon, because I haven’t even seen that movie. Who has?”

“And thank you to God. For making me an atheist.”

“I love this next presenter; he’s so cool. He’s the star of Iron Man. Two Girls and a Guy. Wonderboys. I’m sorry are these porn films? Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Bowfinger? Up the Academy. Come on! He has done all of those films, but many of you in this room probably know him best from such facilities as The Betty Ford Clinic and the Los Angeles County Jail. Robert Downey, Jr.”

“You know our next presenter from such films as Hudson Hawk, Look Who’s Talking, Mercury Rising, Color of Night, The Fifth Element, Hart’s War. Please welcome Aston Kutcher’s dad, Bruce Willis.”

Reading them on screen doesn't quite convey the awkwardness you feel when you watch the lines delivered and the reaction of the audience, so here's a little highlights package.

* Note: Generally, but not always. Please see Sarah Silverman for another example.

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