In case you curious according to Google's AdWords tool, placing AdWords for the term 'Adult Bibs" will cost you between AU$1.01 - AU$1.26 per click. Who would have thought that the Adult Bib market had so much potential?

Well.. *cough* *cough* I guess that these guys did. That's right, it's time for another dodgy infomercial, this time for the "Slopstopper".

This is not your average terry cloth bib you find in a store . . .

Made of the highest quality materials, the SlobStopper™ is constructed with two layers of PUL (polyurethane laminate), a thin absorbent fabric permanently laminated to a thin, waterproof barrier.

Made in the USA, you will not find a more durable, higher quality bib anywhere.

Because nothing attracts the ladies like a man so clumsy that he needs to wear a bib.

I wonder how many they've sold?

First up I got sent a link to this photo fresh from Flickr [original found here]. Why do I like it? It's a pug wearing pug slippers. Enough said.

Through the wonders of technology, I left my little Pug friend and discovered the The Amazing Magnetic Boy. Like the tag line says, "He has more than just a great personality, HE'S MAGNETIC!"

The Amazing Magnetic Boy then Magnetoman. A real life Magneto.

Ever have those moments where your cursor hovers over something and you can't decide whether to click or not? That's about the only way I can explain this Bot Fly removal video.

From Bot Fly to the Smithi Tie Protector. If you thought the Snuggy and the Snazzy Napper were awesome, then you'll probably be placing an order for one of these sooner rather than later.

Have you been keeping count? Yup, only at the fifth degree right now. So where is the sixth degree you ask? I guess it's where ever you end up once you leave this page.

The organisers behind the Awards show should not really be shocked, or able to raise their hands with a "... but we didn't know", as he really just picks up from where he left off at the 2010 Golden Globes.

Around this time last year the Guardian asked "Did Ricky Gervais shine at the Golden Globes?":

His performance, though, wasn't hard-hitting enough for some: the Hollywood Reporter called him "toothless", and sure enough, he did pull some punches. Joking about Mel Gibson's drinking is one thing – but off the leash, Gervais would surely make hay with Gibson's anti-Semitism too.

That, alas, is never going to happen at an event as stage-managed as the Globes – nor from a man as palpably delighted to be a Hollywood insider as Gervais.

This time around Gervais took another swipe at Gibson while introducing crowd favorite - OK one of my favorites - Scarlett Johansson:

"Our first presenter is beautiful, talented, and Jewish apparently. Mel Gibson told me that. He’s obsessed. Please welcome Scarlett Johansson."

Some of Ricky's other quotable quotes - read the ones most likely to offend - included:

“It’s going to be a night of partying and heaving drinking, or as Charlie Sheen calls it: breakfast.”

“Do you want to go see Cher? No. Why not? Because it’s not 1975.”

“Also not nominated I Love You Phillip Morris. Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor. Two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay. So, the complete opposite of some famous Scientologist… My lawyers helped me with the wording of that joke.”

“Next up, Eva Longoria has the daunting task of introducing the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press. That’s nothing, I had just had to help him off the toilet and pop his teeth in.”

“Everything this year was three-dimensional, except the characters in The Tourist. I feel bad about that joke. I’m jumping on the bandwagon, because I haven’t even seen that movie. Who has?”

“And thank you to God. For making me an atheist.”

“I love this next presenter; he’s so cool. He’s the star of Iron Man. Two Girls and a Guy. Wonderboys. I’m sorry are these porn films? Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Bowfinger? Up the Academy. Come on! He has done all of those films, but many of you in this room probably know him best from such facilities as The Betty Ford Clinic and the Los Angeles County Jail. Robert Downey, Jr.”

“You know our next presenter from such films as Hudson Hawk, Look Who’s Talking, Mercury Rising, Color of Night, The Fifth Element, Hart’s War. Please welcome Aston Kutcher’s dad, Bruce Willis.”

Reading them on screen doesn't quite convey the awkwardness you feel when you watch the lines delivered and the reaction of the audience, so here's a little highlights package.

* Note: Generally, but not always. Please see Sarah Silverman for another example.

These were produced by the H-57 Creative Station Advertising Agency from Milan, Italy. Having a look at their website it appears that they were also responsible for developing the 'Blade' font for the promotion of the Blade movies (I'm not a fluent Italian speaker/reader so much of the website is a mystery to me).

I have to say, when I first glanced at these images I had to take a second look before I realized what was going on here.

Source: H-57 Creative Station Advertising Agency

On the week I sat down and browsed through the Swollen Pickles archive. Some of what I found was good, some terrible, some a crass cash grab and some a reflection of where I was at personally at that point in time. This blog originally started off as a personal development experience. I wanted to see if I could start something from scratch and stick to it. In that respect, it's been a success. When I started I had no idea what was involved in starting up website from scratch, let along digging into any sort of code.

Not long after I set this up I decided that I'd try to make it self sustaining. I wanted to see if I could set up a blog to pay its own way in the world, and not rely upon me propping it up financially. This led to the inevitable monetization of the site. It didn't take me all that long to learn that income was directly related to traffic volume. More traffic, meant more money. This led me to analytics. Why were people coming here? What were they looking for? Tailoring content to search results had its advantages, more traffic. Giving people more of what they wanted was a fairly solid formula. The disadvantage being that it took me a little further away off the track that I had originally set out on. I set up other sites but in doing so found that I was spread too thin.

In looking through the archive I can almost pin point the moment in which this became more of a chore and less fun. In attempting to give people what they wanted, or what I thought they wanted, I wasn't getting what I needed out of the process. I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world that isn't a huge fan of chores. When something becomes a chore, I naturally steer away from it, toward something more fun and entertaining.

I guess what I'm trying to say, in a rather long winded fashion, is that I think it's time to get back to basics. Embrace minimalism. Strip the site back. Rebuild it. Make it something that I would visit myself, rather than something to cater to others. Back to basics.

However, not everyone is fortunate enough to live in a 'Masterchef' society though, as this clever little ad from Compassion Australia points out.

Preparing and enjoying good, healthy, tasty food is a wonderful thing. No wonder so many people are passionate about it! But for the 1.4 billion people in our world living on less than $1.25 a day, simply feeding themselves is a daily challenge.

People that followed Masterchef closely will probably find it more amusing than others, either way, it's all for a good cause. Check out the Challenge website here.

The new, self titled album, Stone Temple Pilots was released in Australia on 21 May 2010. Needless to say, a quick visit to JB HiFi and I was sold.

The album kicks off with the first single "Between The Lines", a rocky, up tempo little number that provides the ideal opener.

"Huckleberry Crumble" reminds me a lot of a driving 1970's classic rock song. It has got a 'Les Paul plugged straight into a Marshall' vibe and proves that sometimes simple is best.

The fourth track, "Hickory Dichotomy" takes me back to the "Tiny Music..." era. "Dare if you dare" is a dreamy, psychedelic style pop-romp that probably owes more than a little to the Beatles. The following track "Cinnamon" also shares a dreamy vibe, before "Hazy Daze" picks up the rocking pace again.

"Bagman" is another 1970's inspired track and "First kiss on Mars" seems like a massive hat tip to David Bowie.

The album sees the welcome return of the Dean DeLeo, psychedelic, wah affected guitar solo. Throughout the album Scott Weiland seems to be channelling the spirits of the 70's rock gods. For example, there were a couple of moments during the first listen where I thought I may have been listening to Bowie. In my opinion, the music and the melodies are as good as anything the band have released, either collectively or through other projects.

Whether you're a fan of STP, classic rock or just after a cracking good collection of songs, then there is a good chance that you'll like this album. For me, this is the album of the year so far. Maybe I'm just nostalgic, but I don't care, it's just good to have the Stone Temple Pilots back.

Here's the video for the first single "Between The Lines".

Kick-Ass tells the story of Dave Lizewski, a teenage who one day decides that he wants to become a real life superhero. Unfortunately for Dave, he has no super power to speak of, which really puts him behind the eight ball in the crime fighting department. In his first attempt at crime fighting, Dave/Kick-Ass is stabbed and hit by a car, ending in an extended stay in hospital. While the trauma results in him having some nerve damage, and slightly reduced sensitivity to pain, he's still not exactly super hero material. Undeterred, he heads back out to fight crime, this time fending off three muggers. These events are filmed by onlookers, which result in Kick-Ass becoming a YouTube sensation.

Dave quickly sets up a MySpace page and begins taking requests from people who need the help of Kick-Ass. However, Dave soon learns that he is not the only superhero in town. Big Daddy - a former cop played by the slightly creepy Nicholas Cage -- and his 11 year old daughter Hit-Girl, are on the trail of crime king pin Frank D'Amico. Kick-Ass crosses paths with Big Daddy and Hit-Girl, only to become embroiled in their plan to bring down D'Amico. When D'Amico wrongly believes that Kick-Ass is responsible for the hits his crime empire has taken, Dave finds himself in some hot super hero water, that he may not get out of... or he might... I'm just to build some suspense and not give the plot away.

While at times Kick-Ass -- the movie now, not the character -- seems to be lampooning the comic book/superhero genre, I was never quite sure whether I was watching a piss take on the superhero movie or watching a superhero movie that takes the piss out of itself. I think I've settled on the former. Kick-Ass is a super hero movie that doesn't take itself super seriously.

Kick-Ass stirred up a little controversy, in Australia at least, due to some "offensive language" and violence. Most of the controversy stemmed from the fact that a majority of the swearing and violence was committed by an 11 year old girl. Yes, there is swearing, yes, there is violence. However, if you've been to the movies in the last five years there is probably nothing in Kick-Ass that you wont have seen or heard before.

All in all, Kick-Ass was an enjoyable popcorn flick. It sits half way between comedy and action movie. There are enough laughs to keep things chugging along, but just when you think you're watching a comedy, something serious and/or sinister happens. It wasn't quite the film I had hoped for, but it wasn't a dog either. I'd give it 3.5 out of 5.

This list may be contentious, heck it caused me some inner conflict, but never the less, it represents my best attempt at putting together a list of the top 5 zombie movies of all time. As with any top 'whatever' list, I'll be counting down... to number one.

Number five: Resident Evil

Ok, so it's spot in the list is debatable, but before you say anything I need to declare that I find Milla Jovovich very attractive, and therefore my opinion on this movie may be a little tainted. Resident Evil is a very very loose adaptation of the video game with Milla Jovovich starring as Alice who wakes up with amnesia, to discover that she's implicated in a zombie virus conspiracy. Off she runs in a red dress to slay many a zombie and save the world... potentially. The 'Milla Factor' allowed Resident Evil to narrowly edge out other worthy contenders to the number five spot including the rom-zom-com 'Shaun of the Dead' and body snatchers style 'Slither'. Interesting factoid, in 1999, Sony and Capcom greenlit a Resident Evil film with George A. Romero signed on as the film's director and screenplay writer.

Number four: 28 Days Later

Danny Boyle's 2002 zombie dish 28 Days Later was as much inspired by Day of the Triffids as it was Dawn of the Dead. As with a majority of zombie films it focuses on a core group of four 'survivors' struggling to come to terms with a 'zombie' apocalypse. The film opens with Jim waking from a coma in hospital, only to discover that the world he has woken up in is a lot different to the one he remembers. Bizarre medical tests, really angry chimps and lord of the flies style behaviour, 28 Days Later has something for everyone.

While 28 Days Later can take some credit for breathing new un-life into the genre, I couldn't find it a spot higher than number four in my list. It's good, don't get me wrong, it just gets a bit ordinary toward the end. The fact that the dvd release hints at a number of vastly different endings probably tells you that the makers of the film weren't 100% sure about where they wanted the film to end up. If you stop the film at the point old man Frank gets infected, then you have a cracking good zombie movie. After that, it drops off a little.

Number three: Dawn of the Dead (original)

Potentially a controversial decision, Dawn of the Dead (original) slots in at number three on my all time greatest zombie movie list. In my opinion Dawn of the Dead is the grand daddy of the zombie genre. When a mysterious plague begins reanimating the dead and humans become their food of choice a small group of four survivors (notice a theme here?) band together and find refuge in a suburban shopping mall. It's a classic for a reason. Even though the film has been around longer than I have, it still stands up well, even with it's 'B' grade feel, and DIY special effects vibe.

Thanks to Dawn of the Dead, if you took a poll of people and asked them where they'd go if there was a zombie outbreak, I reckon a good percentage would respond with "shopping mall".

Number two: Zombieland

While it's the new kid on the zombie block, it made an immediate impression on me. Zombieland is part zombie movie, part comedy and part road movie. When four survivors (wow... four survivors... that must be the optimal number with which to band together and fight a zombie horde?) find themselves drawn together on an impromptu road trip across the zombie ravaged USA. The cause of this zombie apocalypse? Mad cow disease. The main character, Columbus, lives by a distinct set of rules that he has developed in order to keep himself alive. He preaches the importance of cardio, the dangers of bathrooms and the need to always check the back seat. Zombieland even features a cameo from Bill Murray playing Bill Murray. Priceless. Zombieland is funny and educational. Most definitely worthy of the number two.

Number one: Dawn of the Dead (remake)

Remaking the George A Romero classic Dawn of the Dead was always going to be a controversial decision. Remakes generally suck and who wants to take something beautiful (a zombie film) and make it suck? Fortunately for Zack Snyder he was able to turn his hand to Dawn of the Dead and end up with a film that was every bit as good, and in my opinion, better, than the original. The 2004 Dawn of the Dead is not a direct shot for shot remake. It takes the elements that made the 1978 version such a cracker of a film and adds some new stuff. The remake abandons the 'four survivor' model so popular in the zombie genre in favor of a larger ensemble cast focused around Ana, a nurse who loses her husband to a child zombie before making her way to the local shopping mall. There she joins other survivors as the exist in the pseudo sanctuary of the mall, until the inevitable happens...

Sure the remake may cop flak for abandoning the slow and steady zombie in favor of the rabid and frenetic variety, but I like it. I challenge anyone to watch the first 10-15mins and not be drawn in.

"When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth"