Swollen Pickles

When I saw the first Transformers movie, I can't say I was all that impressed with what I saw. I guess I shouldn't have expected so much from a movie that is essentially based on a toy. So with my expectations suitably lowered after the first film, I went along to catch Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. It's clearly a big screen, big budget, big bucket of popcorn type movie. It's packed full of stuff you'd expect. Fast cars, hot chicks and robots in disguise beating the steel out of one another.

Transformers 2 opens with Sam (Shia LaBouf) about to head off to college leaving his super hot girlfriend (Megan Fox) behind. It's not long before he drops a piece of the spark (a carry over from the first film) and we have some robots in disguise wrecking havoc in his kitchen. Look, I'll be blunt, the plot could really be summarised on the back of a postage stamp. Young dude heads to college, leaves girlfriend at home, is tempted by another hot chick, and is then, against his will, forced to save the planet from bad robots in disguise. Lots of robot fights later, the fate of the world rests in Sam's hands, and I'm sure you can figure out what happens from there. There's really nothing more to the movie than that. It's big and it's dumb. With that said though, I enjoyed it. Maybe that says a lot for me?

Now, I have some Transformers questions. This time around (if you've read any of the films press this will be no surprise - otherwise SPOILER ALERT) the evil forces of the Decepticons have a "human" model. Pretty, yet personality free, Isabel Lucas features as a potential love interest for Sam. A hot chick who looks hell bent on stealing him away from hotter Megan Fox. The sting in the tail, so to speak comes when Isabel Lucas is revealed to be an evil Decepticon. Now, my question is, why don't all the Decepticons just transform into various hot chicks and/or world leaders, and take over the planet that way? Why would you transform into a cement mixer when you could walk and talk amongst real people without alerting anyone? And why was there only one "human" transformer? Do they cost more to make? Are they Energon guzzlers? It made no sense and, for me it was the stupidest part of the whole movie.

So to summarise, Transformers 2 was a guilty pleasure. I found myself enjoying it, despite finding myself groaning at it's stupidity. I'd give it a solid 3 out of 5.

REVERSE OSMOSIS RO DI 6800 BOOSTER PUMP TRANSFORMER

US $74.00

11m

With the anticipation of the next installment of the Transformers franchise continues to build, the films stars have hit the promotional trail to make sure it's not a box office bomb.

Here in Australia, we had former Home and Away starlet Isabel Lucas talking the talk. She appeared on Rove Sunday night, and I have to say, she is damn lucky she's easy on the eye, because otherwise she'd have all the appeal of a three week old burrito.

If you're after 8mins of flat out excitement you can watch the interview below.

According to the fountain of knowledge, Wikipedia, Lucas "suffered a minor head injury in July 2008 in a car accident while she was a passenger in, Transformers co-star, Shia LaBeouf's car". Maybe she still suffering some super delayed side effects.

Here's a little more, with Ross Noble attempting to inject her with a little personality.

Kichler Indoor 300W Bronze Landscape Transformer

US $260.00

15m

Transformers Takara D 308 BROWNING MIB JAPANESE GEM

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US $749.00

15m

I crawled along to the movies this weekend to catch "The Hangover". Directed by Todd Phillips, the guy behind Old School and Road Trip, "The Hangover" follows the trials and tribulations of a group of four friends who travel to Les Vegas for a bachelor party. Hilarity ensues when three of the guys wake up the next morning, with memory loss, and without the groom, whose wedding is scheduled for the next day.

The film stars Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, and Heather Graham, and with the exception of Bradley Cooper (Sydney Bristow's old housemate from Alias) and Heather Graham, I hadn't seen any of the other actors in any major roles before.

So three guys wake up in a plush hotel suite that looks like it's been done over by the Who and Led Zepplin in the same night. One guy is missing a tooth, there is a baby in the closet, a tiger in the toilet, a chicken running around and a smoking lounge chair. The room has everything, besides the groom. The three buddies then turn hung over detectives, attempting to retrace their steps from the previous evening, in order to track down there lost amigo. The film rolls on from there. Think "Dude Where's My Car" but funny.

The Hangover was laugh out loud funny. There aren't really any flat spots, and thankfully the film steers away from a deep and meaningful conclusion. Zach Galifianakis as the socially awkward, soon to be brother-in-law, Alan is a stand-out. He's random and weird.

If you are after no-brainer laughs, go check out The Hangover. Overall, 4 out of 5 pickles.

During the previews I also saw the teaser trailer for the new Sacha Baren Cohen film Bruno. It looks like a cracker.

I walked out of the cinema after watching the latest Star Trek moving scratching my head. Why? I wasn't sure whether I liked it or not. Friends have asked me what I thought of it, and the best I have been able to muster is an "it was ok".

Off the bat, I'm not a Star Trek fan. I never watched the show and having seen any of the previous movies, besides three quarters of the Wrath of Khan. My Star Trek knowledge is limited to years of pop culture references. I've heard of Captain Kirk, Mr Spock, the beam me up Scotty guy and the Klingon's. I say this because walking into the cinema I had no idea of any of the main characters origin stories therefore the first half of the film was, I thought, a good introduction to them and the whole Star Trek universe.

Basically the film opens with a space battle. Two ships square off against one another, the good guys in a little ship and the bad guys, led by Eric Bana, in the bigger ship. The bad guys win, but not before Captain Kirk's dad is killed and his mother is jettisoned off in an escape ship giving birth to little Kirk in the process. Kirk is apparently a smart cookie wasting his talents on a life of delinquency. That is, until he enrolls in Star Fleet. Skip three years into the future and Kirk has finished his training, just in time to find himself on board the Enterprise as it heads to Vulcan on a rescue mission. Vulcan is being attacked by Eric Bana. It's bad. The planet is doomed.

Satisfied at the destruction of Vulcan, Eric Bana and his merry men head for earth to stage a repeat performance. Can Star Fleet stop them?

It's around this stage that things got a little weird and/or confusing for me. It was at this point that we were introduced to the 'old' Spock. It was also at this point that the film makers decided to introduce time travel and dimensional travel.

From my point of view, it seemed like this element of the story was introduced to appease hardcore Star Trekkers and provide a link between this film and all the movies and TV shows that preceded it. You can picture the script writers sitting around in a room thinking to themselves, "how can we reboot the series while still retaining some link to the original? I know... alternate timeline/dimension!". Combining the 'original' Star Trek with the 'reboot' Star Trek lost me. Perhaps the producers were trying to satisfy the die-hard fans as well as the casual movie goer? In the end though, they may have failed to satisfy either group.

Star Trek did have its good points. The special effects were impressive and the plot cracked along at a decent pace.

Some of the initial reviews I saw referred to Star Trek as re-energizing a tired franchise, but I wouldn't go that far. In the end, with time travel exposition, standard revenge driven theme and it's rather convoluted plot, Star Trek seems to go boldly where it's probably gone before.

Overall, I'd probably recommend waiting for it to hit DVD. I'd give it 2.5 out of 5

Sitting down to review X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I'm caught between two lines of thought. On the one hand, I enjoyed Wolverine as an popcorn action/adventure movie. On the other hand, as someone who's a fan of the comics, I was a little disappointed in the way it treated some of the characters that I'd been keen to see finally make an appearance on the big screen. Warning: Some spoilers follow.

In summary X-Men Origins: Wolverine traces the origins of the X-Men character Wolverine. Who would have thought? The first 10 minutes of the films closely follow the events of the Wolverine Origin comic mini-series. It opens in 1845, with young James Howlett aka. Logan aka. Wolverine witnessing the murder of his father at the hands of Thomas Logan. The trauma brings out the mutation, with lil' Wolverine sprouting bone claws and killing Thomas Logan. With his dying breath Thomas Logan reveals that he is really James' father. James and his half brother, Thomas Logan's son, Victor Creed, run off leading into an uber war montage of James (who takes the name Logan) and Victor fighting side by side in the Civil War, World War I, World War II and the Vietnam War. When Victor kills a superior officer in Vietnam, he and Logan are put to the firing squad, but due to their shared healing factor, neither men die. From there, both men are recruited into 'Team X' by William Stryker.

Team X also features Fred Dukes (Kevin Durand) aka. The Blob in the comics, John Wraith (will.i.am) aka. Kestrel in the comics, Chris Bradley (Dominic Monaghan) aka. no idea who he's supposed to be, Agent Zero (Daniel Henney) aka. Agent Zero and Wade Wilson aka. Deadpool in the comics. Logan turns his back on Team X and his half brother, when the teams starts to do things he doesn't agree with. A couple of years pass, and Logan has settled down with his lady friend Silver Fox and works as a lumber jack. Logan is arguably the most preened and prissy lumber jack in lumber jack history I might add. When Victor kills Silver Fox Logan is not happy, turning to Stryker to equip him with the tools to put an end to Victor aka. Sabretooth. It's here that Logan undergoes the adamantium bonding process that gave him the sharp pointy claws. He also takes the code name Wolverine.

Following the successful procedure, Wolverine over hears Stryker order Wolverine's memory to be erased. Wolverine goes all Wolverine and escapes. He's out for blood. Cue massive action sequence. Meanwhile, Stryker has also set up shop on a mysterious 'island' and has been experimenting on mutants to develop a super mutant, Weapon XI.

Cut to New Orleans where Wolverine tracks down Kestrel and the Blob, and learns of Stryker's plans. Then downtime to a bourbon bar to have a chat to Gambit, the only mutant to have escaped Strykers mysterious island hideaway. Wolverine hits the island and he's all set for revenge. Ooooh, what happens next? Well, Wolverine is basically invulnerable so you can probably guess how it plays out.

After the hype surrounding this film I was expecting a little more. The focus is obviously on Wolverine, but there also seems to have been an effort made to cram as many merry mutants into it as possible. A number of characters are under used, and under explored, Gambit and Wade Wilson in particular. I was keenly awaiting the arrival of Deadpool/Wade to the big screen, unfortunately however his whole character is screwed up. Ryan Reynolds, who plays Wade, is in the film for 10 minutes maximum, makes about three wisecracks and that's it. Then it gets worse, somewhere along the line, the producers seem to have decided that it was a good idea to combine Wilson/Deadpool's character with that of Weapon XI. What a freaking disaster. Weapon XI has a whole range of powers, for example Kestrel's teleporting ability, Cyclops' eye beam thing and swords out of the hands to compete with Wolverine's claws. Weapon XI is described as having powers "pooled" into Wade Wilson's body, hence Deadpool. He also had his mouth sewn shut so he couldn't talk. Grrr... terrible treatment.

Keen eyed Australian viewers will no doubt spot a whole heap of familiar faces from Australian TV. There's Peter O'Brien (from Flying Doctors and Underbelly 2), some guy that was on McLeods Daughters, the female detective from the second Underbelly series, and the old guy from Love My Way.

For the first 45 minutes or more Wolverine is a really good superhero movie, however there is a point in the film where it all goes pear shaped. If you've seen it, you'll probably know what I'm talking about. For me, it was when Wolverine leaves New Orleans (just so happens I need a toilet break at this point too - damn giant sized coke) and arrives at the island. From there on it's not that great.

There's an anti-climactic reveal, that is telegraphed fairly early on, then a fight scene, then a conclusion that leaves Wolverine without his memories, and ample scope for sequels. If the film had maintained the rage it showed in the first half it would have been a cracker. Unfortunately, it didn't sustain it for me, so in fairness I'd have to give it a solid 3 out of 5.

X MEN ORIGINS WOLVERINE MOVIE LEATHER JACKET NEW

1 Bid

US $149.00

23m

TWIST EMS movie Wolverine super hero wind up walker

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US $.99

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3 BLU RAY DVD MOVIES NEW FACTORY SEALED WOLVERINE

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US $24.95

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Here is the must see movie of the decade, Midgets vs. Mascots. The preview alone is worth the price of admission. If you're easily offended, maybe you should probably give it a wide berth.

Midgets vs. Mascots is described as a mockumentary that follows a contest between midgets and mascots, each group fighting for their share of little person/mascot/porn star Big Red's inheritance. Little person legend Gary Coleman, leads the team of midgets as they compete against a group of mascots, including a guy dressed as a taco.

Here's a couple of quotes being thrown around to promote the film:

"Borat meets Jackass!"

"A Christopher Guest movie for a younger generation!"

"In a class of its own... a new genre of shockumentary!"

"Unique, outragous, funny ass movie!"

"Sincere congrats on making the most offensive comedy I've seen...
awesome!"

If you want more Midgets vs Mascots mayhem, check out the films website.

It's not often that I hire a DVD based solely on the blurb on the back of the cover, but that was the case with 88 Minutes. I walked into Blockbuster, wanted to see a film, and after picking up a few, settled on 88 Minutes, a psychological thriller, and vehicle for Al Pacino.

88 Minutes follows the story Jack Gramm (Al Pacino), a forensic psychiatrist and professor, who's testimony was largely responsible for the conviction of a serial killer, Jon Forster, nine years earlier. On the day the killer is scheduled to be executed, Jack receives a phone call telling him he has 88 minutes to live. Jack is then thrown into an investigation to try and learn the identity of his would-be assassin before his time runs out.

The film sets itself up as a 'who-dunnit' however, it doesn't really succeed, as basically anyone with a speaking role is set up to be the possible killer. I can honestly say though, that I had the killer pegged pretty as soon as the classic misdirection technique came into play (if you've seen the film you'll probably know the scene I'm talking about - it's when the film maker clearly wants you to think 'but it can't be that person because they've been... oh hang on... maybe they just wanted it to look like that...').

Besides Al Pacino, 88 Minutes features a range of actors that you'll know doubt recognise from various TV shows, even if you can't remember their names. For example, there's that chick for Judging Amy, that guy that used to be the brooding dude on the OC and that other chick that played Joan of Arc in a telemovie a while back.

88 Minutes was filmed in 2005 and didn't see release until late 2008, I guess that should have served as a warning. Maybe the studio was sitting on it hoping that it would hatch cinematic gold? Unfortunately the egg didn't hatch. 88 Minutes is an interested idea that gets bogged down with formulaic cliches. It's the sort of film you watch and can't help but think there was a lot of stuff cut out in the editing room. Overall I'd give it 2 out of 5.