Swollen Pickles

Zombie movies. Is there, or will there ever be, a greater genre? Any answer other than no is incorrect. On the weekend, I watched a zombie movie that has forced me to re-assess my top 5 zombie movies of all time. Hence this list.

This list may be contentious, heck it caused me some inner conflict, but never the less, it represents my best attempt at putting together a list of the top 5 zombie movies of all time. As with any top 'whatever' list, I'll be counting down... to number one.

Number five: Resident Evil

Ok, so it's spot in the list is debatable, but before you say anything I need to declare that I find Milla Jovovich very attractive, and therefore my opinion on this movie may be a little tainted. Resident Evil is a very very loose adaptation of the video game with Milla Jovovich starring as Alice who wakes up with amnesia, to discover that she's implicated in a zombie virus conspiracy. Off she runs in a red dress to slay many a zombie and save the world... potentially. The 'Milla Factor' allowed Resident Evil to narrowly edge out other worthy contenders to the number five spot including the rom-zom-com 'Shaun of the Dead' and body snatchers style 'Slither'. Interesting factoid, in 1999, Sony and Capcom greenlit a Resident Evil film with George A. Romero signed on as the film's director and screenplay writer.

Number four: 28 Days Later

Danny Boyle's 2002 zombie dish 28 Days Later was as much inspired by Day of the Triffids as it was Dawn of the Dead. As with a majority of zombie films it focuses on a core group of four 'survivors' struggling to come to terms with a 'zombie' apocalypse. The film opens with Jim waking from a coma in hospital, only to discover that the world he has woken up in is a lot different to the one he remembers. Bizarre medical tests, really angry chimps and lord of the flies style behaviour, 28 Days Later has something for everyone.

While 28 Days Later can take some credit for breathing new un-life into the genre, I couldn't find it a spot higher than number four in my list. It's good, don't get me wrong, it just gets a bit ordinary toward the end. The fact that the dvd release hints at a number of vastly different endings probably tells you that the makers of the film weren't 100% sure about where they wanted the film to end up. If you stop the film at the point old man Frank gets infected, then you have a cracking good zombie movie. After that, it drops off a little.

Number three: Dawn of the Dead (original)

Potentially a controversial decision, Dawn of the Dead (original) slots in at number three on my all time greatest zombie movie list. In my opinion Dawn of the Dead is the grand daddy of the zombie genre. When a mysterious plague begins reanimating the dead and humans become their food of choice a small group of four survivors (notice a theme here?) band together and find refuge in a suburban shopping mall. It's a classic for a reason. Even though the film has been around longer than I have, it still stands up well, even with it's 'B' grade feel, and DIY special effects vibe.

Thanks to Dawn of the Dead, if you took a poll of people and asked them where they'd go if there was a zombie outbreak, I reckon a good percentage would respond with "shopping mall".

Number two: Zombieland

While it's the new kid on the zombie block, it made an immediate impression on me. Zombieland is part zombie movie, part comedy and part road movie. When four survivors (wow... four survivors... that must be the optimal number with which to band together and fight a zombie horde?) find themselves drawn together on an impromptu road trip across the zombie ravaged USA. The cause of this zombie apocalypse? Mad cow disease. The main character, Columbus, lives by a distinct set of rules that he has developed in order to keep himself alive. He preaches the importance of cardio, the dangers of bathrooms and the need to always check the back seat. Zombieland even features a cameo from Bill Murray playing Bill Murray. Priceless. Zombieland is funny and educational. Most definitely worthy of the number two.

Number one: Dawn of the Dead (remake)

Remaking the George A Romero classic Dawn of the Dead was always going to be a controversial decision. Remakes generally suck and who wants to take something beautiful (a zombie film) and make it suck? Fortunately for Zack Snyder he was able to turn his hand to Dawn of the Dead and end up with a film that was every bit as good, and in my opinion, better, than the original. The 2004 Dawn of the Dead is not a direct shot for shot remake. It takes the elements that made the 1978 version such a cracker of a film and adds some new stuff. The remake abandons the 'four survivor' model so popular in the zombie genre in favor of a larger ensemble cast focused around Ana, a nurse who loses her husband to a child zombie before making her way to the local shopping mall. There she joins other survivors as the exist in the pseudo sanctuary of the mall, until the inevitable happens...

Sure the remake may cop flak for abandoning the slow and steady zombie in favor of the rabid and frenetic variety, but I like it. I challenge anyone to watch the first 10-15mins and not be drawn in.

"When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth"

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Here's an awesome piece of stop/go lego animation version of the fake trailer 'Machete' from the Grindhouse movies.

It's freakin awesome and would have been bloody time consuming to put together, so give it a look.

It's legoxplotation...

or something like that...

Interestingly, Machete is being turned into its own feature film by Robert Rodriguez. It's scheduled for a 2010 release with Danny Trejo playing Machete and a host of other big names including Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, and Robert DeNiro all making appearances. The plot is rumoured to closely follow the events shown in the mock trailer.

Here's a promo poster for the film, featuring Jessica Alba.

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When I saw the first Transformers movie, I can't say I was all that impressed with what I saw. I guess I shouldn't have expected so much from a movie that is essentially based on a toy. So with my expectations suitably lowered after the first film, I went along to catch Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. It's clearly a big screen, big budget, big bucket of popcorn type movie. It's packed full of stuff you'd expect. Fast cars, hot chicks and robots in disguise beating the steel out of one another.

Transformers 2 opens with Sam (Shia LaBouf) about to head off to college leaving his super hot girlfriend (Megan Fox) behind. It's not long before he drops a piece of the spark (a carry over from the first film) and we have some robots in disguise wrecking havoc in his kitchen. Look, I'll be blunt, the plot could really be summarised on the back of a postage stamp. Young dude heads to college, leaves girlfriend at home, is tempted by another hot chick, and is then, against his will, forced to save the planet from bad robots in disguise. Lots of robot fights later, the fate of the world rests in Sam's hands, and I'm sure you can figure out what happens from there. There's really nothing more to the movie than that. It's big and it's dumb. With that said though, I enjoyed it. Maybe that says a lot for me?

Now, I have some Transformers questions. This time around (if you've read any of the films press this will be no surprise - otherwise SPOILER ALERT) the evil forces of the Decepticons have a "human" model. Pretty, yet personality free, Isabel Lucas features as a potential love interest for Sam. A hot chick who looks hell bent on stealing him away from hotter Megan Fox. The sting in the tail, so to speak comes when Isabel Lucas is revealed to be an evil Decepticon. Now, my question is, why don't all the Decepticons just transform into various hot chicks and/or world leaders, and take over the planet that way? Why would you transform into a cement mixer when you could walk and talk amongst real people without alerting anyone? And why was there only one "human" transformer? Do they cost more to make? Are they Energon guzzlers? It made no sense and, for me it was the stupidest part of the whole movie.

So to summarise, Transformers 2 was a guilty pleasure. I found myself enjoying it, despite finding myself groaning at it's stupidity. I'd give it a solid 3 out of 5.

New Transformers Movie02 Skin Sticker For DS Lite NO1

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With the anticipation of the next installment of the Transformers franchise continues to build, the films stars have hit the promotional trail to make sure it's not a box office bomb.

Here in Australia, we had former Home and Away starlet Isabel Lucas talking the talk. She appeared on Rove Sunday night, and I have to say, she is damn lucky she's easy on the eye, because otherwise she'd have all the appeal of a three week old burrito.

If you're after 8mins of flat out excitement you can watch the interview below.

According to the fountain of knowledge, Wikipedia, Lucas "suffered a minor head injury in July 2008 in a car accident while she was a passenger in, Transformers co-star, Shia LaBeouf's car". Maybe she still suffering some super delayed side effects.

Here's a little more, with Ross Noble attempting to inject her with a little personality.

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TRANSFORMERS DECEPTICON Chrome 8" Auto Stickers Decals

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I crawled along to the movies this weekend to catch "The Hangover". Directed by Todd Phillips, the guy behind Old School and Road Trip, "The Hangover" follows the trials and tribulations of a group of four friends who travel to Les Vegas for a bachelor party. Hilarity ensues when three of the guys wake up the next morning, with memory loss, and without the groom, whose wedding is scheduled for the next day.

The film stars Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, and Heather Graham, and with the exception of Bradley Cooper (Sydney Bristow's old housemate from Alias) and Heather Graham, I hadn't seen any of the other actors in any major roles before.

So three guys wake up in a plush hotel suite that looks like it's been done over by the Who and Led Zepplin in the same night. One guy is missing a tooth, there is a baby in the closet, a tiger in the toilet, a chicken running around and a smoking lounge chair. The room has everything, besides the groom. The three buddies then turn hung over detectives, attempting to retrace their steps from the previous evening, in order to track down there lost amigo. The film rolls on from there. Think "Dude Where's My Car" but funny.

The Hangover was laugh out loud funny. There aren't really any flat spots, and thankfully the film steers away from a deep and meaningful conclusion. Zach Galifianakis as the socially awkward, soon to be brother-in-law, Alan is a stand-out. He's random and weird.

If you are after no-brainer laughs, go check out The Hangover. Overall, 4 out of 5 pickles.

During the previews I also saw the teaser trailer for the new Sacha Baren Cohen film Bruno. It looks like a cracker.

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I walked out of the cinema after watching the latest Star Trek moving scratching my head. Why? I wasn't sure whether I liked it or not. Friends have asked me what I thought of it, and the best I have been able to muster is an "it was ok".

Off the bat, I'm not a Star Trek fan. I never watched the show and having seen any of the previous movies, besides three quarters of the Wrath of Khan. My Star Trek knowledge is limited to years of pop culture references. I've heard of Captain Kirk, Mr Spock, the beam me up Scotty guy and the Klingon's. I say this because walking into the cinema I had no idea of any of the main characters origin stories therefore the first half of the film was, I thought, a good introduction to them and the whole Star Trek universe.

Basically the film opens with a space battle. Two ships square off against one another, the good guys in a little ship and the bad guys, led by Eric Bana, in the bigger ship. The bad guys win, but not before Captain Kirk's dad is killed and his mother is jettisoned off in an escape ship giving birth to little Kirk in the process. Kirk is apparently a smart cookie wasting his talents on a life of delinquency. That is, until he enrolls in Star Fleet. Skip three years into the future and Kirk has finished his training, just in time to find himself on board the Enterprise as it heads to Vulcan on a rescue mission. Vulcan is being attacked by Eric Bana. It's bad. The planet is doomed.

Satisfied at the destruction of Vulcan, Eric Bana and his merry men head for earth to stage a repeat performance. Can Star Fleet stop them?

It's around this stage that things got a little weird and/or confusing for me. It was at this point that we were introduced to the 'old' Spock. It was also at this point that the film makers decided to introduce time travel and dimensional travel.

From my point of view, it seemed like this element of the story was introduced to appease hardcore Star Trekkers and provide a link between this film and all the movies and TV shows that preceded it. You can picture the script writers sitting around in a room thinking to themselves, "how can we reboot the series while still retaining some link to the original? I know... alternate timeline/dimension!". Combining the 'original' Star Trek with the 'reboot' Star Trek lost me. Perhaps the producers were trying to satisfy the die-hard fans as well as the casual movie goer? In the end though, they may have failed to satisfy either group.

Star Trek did have its good points. The special effects were impressive and the plot cracked along at a decent pace.

Some of the initial reviews I saw referred to Star Trek as re-energizing a tired franchise, but I wouldn't go that far. In the end, with time travel exposition, standard revenge driven theme and it's rather convoluted plot, Star Trek seems to go boldly where it's probably gone before.

Overall, I'd probably recommend waiting for it to hit DVD. I'd give it 2.5 out of 5

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Sitting down to review X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I'm caught between two lines of thought. On the one hand, I enjoyed Wolverine as an popcorn action/adventure movie. On the other hand, as someone who's a fan of the comics, I was a little disappointed in the way it treated some of the characters that I'd been keen to see finally make an appearance on the big screen. Warning: Some spoilers follow.

In summary X-Men Origins: Wolverine traces the origins of the X-Men character Wolverine. Who would have thought? The first 10 minutes of the films closely follow the events of the Wolverine Origin comic mini-series. It opens in 1845, with young James Howlett aka. Logan aka. Wolverine witnessing the murder of his father at the hands of Thomas Logan. The trauma brings out the mutation, with lil' Wolverine sprouting bone claws and killing Thomas Logan. With his dying breath Thomas Logan reveals that he is really James' father. James and his half brother, Thomas Logan's son, Victor Creed, run off leading into an uber war montage of James (who takes the name Logan) and Victor fighting side by side in the Civil War, World War I, World War II and the Vietnam War. When Victor kills a superior officer in Vietnam, he and Logan are put to the firing squad, but due to their shared healing factor, neither men die. From there, both men are recruited into 'Team X' by William Stryker.

Team X also features Fred Dukes (Kevin Durand) aka. The Blob in the comics, John Wraith (will.i.am) aka. Kestrel in the comics, Chris Bradley (Dominic Monaghan) aka. no idea who he's supposed to be, Agent Zero (Daniel Henney) aka. Agent Zero and Wade Wilson aka. Deadpool in the comics. Logan turns his back on Team X and his half brother, when the teams starts to do things he doesn't agree with. A couple of years pass, and Logan has settled down with his lady friend Silver Fox and works as a lumber jack. Logan is arguably the most preened and prissy lumber jack in lumber jack history I might add. When Victor kills Silver Fox Logan is not happy, turning to Stryker to equip him with the tools to put an end to Victor aka. Sabretooth. It's here that Logan undergoes the adamantium bonding process that gave him the sharp pointy claws. He also takes the code name Wolverine.

Following the successful procedure, Wolverine over hears Stryker order Wolverine's memory to be erased. Wolverine goes all Wolverine and escapes. He's out for blood. Cue massive action sequence. Meanwhile, Stryker has also set up shop on a mysterious 'island' and has been experimenting on mutants to develop a super mutant, Weapon XI.

Cut to New Orleans where Wolverine tracks down Kestrel and the Blob, and learns of Stryker's plans. Then downtime to a bourbon bar to have a chat to Gambit, the only mutant to have escaped Strykers mysterious island hideaway. Wolverine hits the island and he's all set for revenge. Ooooh, what happens next? Well, Wolverine is basically invulnerable so you can probably guess how it plays out.

After the hype surrounding this film I was expecting a little more. The focus is obviously on Wolverine, but there also seems to have been an effort made to cram as many merry mutants into it as possible. A number of characters are under used, and under explored, Gambit and Wade Wilson in particular. I was keenly awaiting the arrival of Deadpool/Wade to the big screen, unfortunately however his whole character is screwed up. Ryan Reynolds, who plays Wade, is in the film for 10 minutes maximum, makes about three wisecracks and that's it. Then it gets worse, somewhere along the line, the producers seem to have decided that it was a good idea to combine Wilson/Deadpool's character with that of Weapon XI. What a freaking disaster. Weapon XI has a whole range of powers, for example Kestrel's teleporting ability, Cyclops' eye beam thing and swords out of the hands to compete with Wolverine's claws. Weapon XI is described as having powers "pooled" into Wade Wilson's body, hence Deadpool. He also had his mouth sewn shut so he couldn't talk. Grrr... terrible treatment.

Keen eyed Australian viewers will no doubt spot a whole heap of familiar faces from Australian TV. There's Peter O'Brien (from Flying Doctors and Underbelly 2), some guy that was on McLeods Daughters, the female detective from the second Underbelly series, and the old guy from Love My Way.

For the first 45 minutes or more Wolverine is a really good superhero movie, however there is a point in the film where it all goes pear shaped. If you've seen it, you'll probably know what I'm talking about. For me, it was when Wolverine leaves New Orleans (just so happens I need a toilet break at this point too - damn giant sized coke) and arrives at the island. From there on it's not that great.

There's an anti-climactic reveal, that is telegraphed fairly early on, then a fight scene, then a conclusion that leaves Wolverine without his memories, and ample scope for sequels. If the film had maintained the rage it showed in the first half it would have been a cracker. Unfortunately, it didn't sustain it for me, so in fairness I'd have to give it a solid 3 out of 5.

Xmen Wolverine Movie Tin : no movie

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