Swollen Pickles

Whether it be in films, TV shows, public events or the boudoir, music plays a key role in setting the mood. Music can make us feel happy, make us feel sad, make us reflect and make us scared. Music is the universal language.

Most importantly, and sometimes forgotten, music can be responsible for creating meaning. Changing music, can change a persons perception of something altogether. It can make the mundane exciting and the friendly sinister. Don't believe me? Check out this revised version of the Different Strokes opening credits sequence. By dropping some alternative music under it, the scene takes on a whole new, creepier, meaning.

Along a similar line is this little nuggety gem from the Victoria's WorkSafe. Having been grossed out by the original ad quite a few times, I found it to be much more watchable once a nice little tune was dropped over the top.

Up until this morning I'd never heard of the Cranbourne Cup. But now, thanks to the Midget Cup controversy I have. From that point of view it was a marketing success story. In case you haven't read the tale, the Midget Cup was run during the Cranbourne Cup, with three little people acting as jockeys, riding three 'regular' sized punters down a 50 metre track.

Here's a highlights reel from the event.

Critics have panned the event as degrading to little people, however I'm not sure who should be feeling the most 'degraded' today, the jockeys or their 'average sized' mounts?

Is the Midget Cup more or less degrading than "Midgets vs. Elephant"?

... or, more or less degrading than "Four midgets vs. a Camel"?

I've developed a bizarre fascination with this YouTube video of a major league karaoke fail. Besides its melodic appeal, the incomprehensible lyrics make this a musical train wreck worth watching.

I will say, in the performers defence, the lyrics from the original version of the track from Mariah Carey are equally incomprehensible.

The Kanye West VMA's fiasco has raised the hackles of 99.9% of the worlds population. His treatment of Taylor Swift was not one of his smoother moves. I, myself, am no stranger to public humiliation, so I had a hard time not sympathizing with Ms Swift.

Kanye's out burst has made him some very powerful enemies. Number one on the list, Hitler. Here's what he had to say about the Kanye-gate affair.

"That stupid Kanye! That shit was uncalled for ... I just want to shave my moustache and wipe it on my ass and shove it down his nostrils."

Now I'm sure Kayne will be able to use all of the controversy on his next average album, people will buy it, and he'll get richer. But all that will not change the fact that he has pissed off Hitler, and that cannot be a good thing for anyone!

Every so often you'll stumble across something that is so disgusting that is makes you throw up in your mouth just a little bit. This happened to me on Friday, when someone sent me a video labeled as the biggest zit in the world. Against my better judgment I loaded that bad boy up. What I saw that day has since haunted my dreams. It is therefore, only fair for me to share my pain with the world.

Warning: Please do not eat cream cheese while watching this clip. Sweet holy mother of Fonzie it's disgusting...

The video led to many a conversation. "Is it a zit?"; "No, that's not a zit, it's a cyst"; "I don't care what it is, I just hurled a little". Finally though, "have you ever seen a clip of a human bot fly?"

No I had not, until I watched this...

Isn't the internet a beautiful, wondrous and educational thing?

Here is a must see clip for any aspiring tight ass out there, featuring Hamish and Andy as seen on Rove Live. It's an educational little piece on the art of "Freeating". Freeeating is the ancient art of stealing left over food from kids, scrounging tasty morsels from rubbish dumpsters and stealing food samples.

So, if you can't be assed trying to make extra money, you can always try saving money...

Hot on the heals of the Snuggie, here comes another must buy product direct from the US, the "Comfort Wipe". They screened this infomercial on Rove last night, but in case you aren't familiar with this revolutionary product that allows you to wipe your ass while maintaining your dignity, here it is...

I'm wondering when and why a person would need 18 inches of extension? To get into those hard to reach places? WTF??