Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

Milestone: Swollen Pickles passes the 200,000 spam comments received mark

Tuesday, December 11th, 2012

Here are a couple of interesting, but probably useless, statistics relating to this blog. In its lifetime it has received a grand total of 220,964 spam comments. In that time the Akismet plugin has captured all but 756 of them and recorded just two false positives. That's an accuracy rate of 99.6%. Color me impressed.

Random things that have amused me this Thursday

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

It's Thursday, it's hot, I'm tired, yet I've still managed to find a handful of things to amuse me on a Thursday evening. It's funny where surfing the internet can lead you. Consider this a geeked out version of six degrees of separation. (more…)

Man violated by eel

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

Here's another news story with a headline that can't help but catch the eye. "Man nearly killed as eel swims in bottom". Yup, right about now you are probably thinking the same thing I did... WTF? Surely there's a word missing or a typo in that headline right?

Well here's the story... (more…)

Diet Coke and Mentos shenanigans

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010

The Diet Coke and Mentos explosion is not a new phenomenon. The idea is pretty simple, dump some Mentos into a bottle of Diet Coke and you have yourself an instant soda geyser. I've toyed with the Diet Coke/Mentos union myself, with mixed, and somewhat messy, results. Apparently though, I had not fully considered the possibilities. (more…)

He would do anything for love

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

When Meat Loaf sang that he'd do anything for love but he wouldn't do "that", what exactly was he referring to?

His name was Robert Paulson. His name was Robert Paulson. His name was Robert Paulson. His name was Robert Paulson. His name was Robert Paulson...

Did you know…?

Monday, November 16th, 2009

Did you know...?

...that it is possible to respond to any statement or question with "that's what she said"... I said it's possible, I didn't say it was socially acceptable.

International Proboscis Monkey Day

Monday, August 31st, 2009

I've been slack at maintaining the old pickle over the last few weeks. There's a lot of stuff I'd like to do with it, but not enough hours in the day. Yeah I'm busy, but it could be worse. I could be the Nasosus Machedonus, aka. the Proboscis Monkey, aka. the monkey with a penis nose.

Yup, 31 August is officially Proboscis Monkey Day. What sets the Proboscis Monkey apart from it's other Monkey cousins is its massive hooter.

"A distinctive trait of this monkey is the male's large protruding nose, from which it takes its name. The big nose is thought to be used to attract females and is a characteristic of the males, reaching up to 7 inches in length."

Proboscis Monkey

What is a proboscis? It's an elongated appendage from the head. Ewwww! Head appendage. So here we have a fun loving monkey with a 7 inch schlong for a nose. According to science, the schlong nose is a real turn on for the lady monkeys.
Proboscis Monkey
Unfortunately the Proboscis Monkey is on the endangered species list, which is quite sad, as this is one monkey with the potential to bring great joy to the world.

Karl Stefanovic intoxicated or software failure?

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

For many years now it has been assumed that Karl Stefanovic, co-host of Channel Nines early morning Today program, is a robot.

In fact, many people believe that Stefanovic is actually C3P0, a human-cyborg relations droid constructed in Queensland, and the first Australian droid of its kind. Karl Stefanovic is a robotThis was confirmed on Wikipedia (so it must be true), however Stefanovic's entry has since been heavily edited, with many conspiracy theorists suggesting that it is the result of a cover-up instigated by Channel Nine and Scientology.

Other theories suggest that is programmed with a "white-anting" chip and is programmed to infest himself in an organisation then bring it down from the inside.

On Monday morning however, Stefanovic cast doubt over his robot status when he appeared to host the show, displaying some of the signs associated with intoxication.

The fact that the Logies (Australian TV awards) were held Sunday night, and the after party no doubt carried on well into Monday morning, may well have contributed to his uncharacteristically human performance.

Personally, his uncharacteristic behavior has not convinced me that he's human. I suspect his behavior can be attributed to one of two things.

Either someone spilt a drink on him at the Logies and he short circuited, or he has undergone a software upgrade, most probably to Windows Vista, and is experiencing some instability issues. If that's the case, I'd recommend that Channel Nine re-format the system and install Windows XP instead.

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Happy Easter

Thursday, April 9th, 2009

Time flies when you are doing stuff. It's hard to believe that it is Easter already. Seems like only yesterday that I was stuffing my face at Christmas. Now I'm stuffing my face with hot cross buns.

Which brings me to the Easter Bunny. WTF? A rabbit, laying eggs, made of chocolate. Is it the same rabbit each year or a different one? How does he get from house to house so quickly? Still, not as creepy as the idea of an old bearded man sneaking into my house at night leaving me 'gifts'.

Happy Easter

The wheel spun and the site broke

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

In LOST Benjamin Linus turned the wheel and everything changed. On Swollen Pickles, I did something and something bad happened. I recently upgraded the WordPress installation which seemed to screw up something with the comment form, then I realised that the layout wasn't rendering how I wanted it to in IE, even though it looked fine in FireFox.

Seeing as though I planned to do a redesign at some point in the future, I decided to bring the time line on that little project forward, to cover up for the monumental balls up I'd created. So, I whacked up an interim theme here that should look the same in IE and FireFox, and do the job for the short term. Maybe the layout is ghetto, but at least it seems to be functioning ok... touch wood.

Watch a free video for free

Friday, March 21st, 2008

Here's another free offer I found while browsing the Commission Junction site. are giving you the opportunity to watch a video for free, in what I'm guessing is a way to get people to trial their product.

Free stuff is good stuff, and the CinemaNow site has all the latest releases so it's worth a look in that regard. Take a look, you might like it, or you might not, either way, you can still watch a video for free.

Watch a Video for Free on!

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