His name was Robert Paulson. His name was Robert Paulson. His name was Robert Paulson. His name was Robert Paulson. His name was Robert Paulson...

...that it is possible to respond to any statement or question with "that's what she said"... I said it's possible, I didn't say it was socially acceptable.

Yup, 31 August is officially Proboscis Monkey Day. What sets the Proboscis Monkey apart from it's other Monkey cousins is its massive hooter.

"A distinctive trait of this monkey is the male's large protruding nose, from which it takes its name. The big nose is thought to be used to attract females and is a characteristic of the males, reaching up to 7 inches in length."

What is a proboscis? It's an elongated appendage from the head. Ewwww! Head appendage. So here we have a fun loving monkey with a 7 inch schlong for a nose. According to science, the schlong nose is a real turn on for the lady monkeys.

Unfortunately the Proboscis Monkey is on the endangered species list, which is quite sad, as this is one monkey with the potential to bring great joy to the world.

In fact, many people believe that Stefanovic is actually C3P0, a human-cyborg relations droid constructed in Queensland, and the first Australian droid of its kind. This was confirmed on Wikipedia (so it must be true), however Stefanovic's entry has since been heavily edited, with many conspiracy theorists suggesting that it is the result of a cover-up instigated by Channel Nine and Scientology.

Other theories suggest that is programmed with a "white-anting" chip and is programmed to infest himself in an organisation then bring it down from the inside.

On Monday morning however, Stefanovic cast doubt over his robot status when he appeared to host the show, displaying some of the signs associated with intoxication.

The fact that the Logies (Australian TV awards) were held Sunday night, and the after party no doubt carried on well into Monday morning, may well have contributed to his uncharacteristically human performance.

Personally, his uncharacteristic behavior has not convinced me that he's human. I suspect his behavior can be attributed to one of two things.

Either someone spilt a drink on him at the Logies and he short circuited, or he has undergone a software upgrade, most probably to Windows Vista, and is experiencing some instability issues. If that's the case, I'd recommend that Channel Nine re-format the system and install Windows XP instead.

Microsoft Microsoft Windows Small Business Server 2003

US $1,546.68

1h

Which brings me to the Easter Bunny. WTF? A rabbit, laying eggs, made of chocolate. Is it the same rabbit each year or a different one? How does he get from house to house so quickly? Still, not as creepy as the idea of an old bearded man sneaking into my house at night leaving me 'gifts'.

Seeing as though I planned to do a redesign at some point in the future, I decided to bring the time line on that little project forward, to cover up for the monumental balls up I'd created. So, I whacked up an interim theme here that should look the same in IE and FireFox, and do the job for the short term. Maybe the layout is ghetto, but at least it seems to be functioning ok... touch wood.

Betfair are currently offering a free $50 bet for anyone the makes a deposit and bets at least $50. In other words you bet $50, and they'll give you $50.

All the details are here: FREE $50 Bet at Betfair

I have close to zero interest in horse racing so don't bother asking me for tips!

If that doesn't interest you would you prefer 25 free MP3's instead?

Go check out eMusic.

Free stuff is good stuff, and the CinemaNow site has all the latest releases so it's worth a look in that regard. Take a look, you might like it, or you might not, either way, you can still watch a video for free.

Watch a Video for Free on CinemaNow.com!

$1 million for a number plate! Lets put that into perspective, you could buy a single number plate you could instead buy:

• over 15 Mitsubishi Lancer Evo X's;
• around 2,000 Xbox 360's;
• over 3,500 copies of today's deal from DealDotCom ;
• 2,000,000 fifty cent cones from McDonalds.

I know what I'd rather do with the money, but what about you? How much would you be willing to spend on a "special" numberplate?

I wonder if it's road worthy? I wonder if it needs any [insert tenuous link... now] power supply repair?