Swollen Pickles

Up until this morning I'd never heard of the Cranbourne Cup. But now, thanks to the Midget Cup controversy I have. From that point of view it was a marketing success story. In case you haven't read the tale, the Midget Cup was run during the Cranbourne Cup, with three little people acting as jockeys, riding three 'regular' sized punters down a 50 metre track.

Here's a highlights reel from the event.

Critics have panned the event as degrading to little people, however I'm not sure who should be feeling the most 'degraded' today, the jockeys or their 'average sized' mounts?

Is the Midget Cup more or less degrading than "Midgets vs. Elephant"?

... or, more or less degrading than "Four midgets vs. a Camel"?

Here's a headline you don't see in the newspaper every day... "Stiff sentence for man who filmed himself masturbating".

Yes, the actual new story is as bizarre as the headline itself.

The court heard that the driver:

"had been travelling south along the Stuart Highway, had been smoking cannabis while driving and was filming himself masturbating with a video camera in July last year.

Police measured his speed at 137 km/h, but the court heard he had been driving at up to 150km/h.

He had two pipes for smoking cannabis in the car, as well as an unlicensed two-calibre rifle.

Source: news.com.au

If that headline is the one that the paper decided to go with, I wonder what headlines didn't get over the line?

I can just see the new road safety advertisement now:

"If you take drugs and speed, you're a bloody wanker."

Edit: The Daily Telegraph have run the same story with the headline - "Stiff sentence for masturbating driver".

There must be something about Border town's. You might remember the Mount Gambier woman’s unsuccessful Darwin Awards attempt back in August. Well here's a letter from the letters to the editor section of Border-Mail (which is a newspaper that originates from the Albury/Wodonga region - on the border between Victoria and New South Wales) on the 1 October 2008.

Basically, the writer theorizes that daylight savings is the cause of the drought. Apparently daylight savings, and the "one extra hour of sun is slowly evaporating the moisture out of everything". I really hope it's a joke, but sadly, I'm not convinced that it is.

I'm hoping that the author of the letter hooks up with the Mount Gambier woman, and that they have off-spring. Now that would be an interesting scientific study!

How would you feel if you were mistaken for being a member of the opposite sex? I can't speak from experience, but I'm sure it not the greatest feeling in the world, furthermore, it's not exactly the sort of thing I'd want to go to the media to talk about.

Britain's The Sun newspaper are reporting that a 59 year old, short haired, English woman was caught on a speed camera, and subsequently been mistaken for being a man by British Police.

The police wrote to the woman's partner to confirm who was driving.

The letter read: “From the copy of the photograph it appears that the driver was a male.”

Mr Watkins, the woman's partner is quoted:

“I am fuming and Pauline is very upset - any woman would be if they were told they look like a man. I want compensation for the misery and hurt this has caused.”

Here is the speed camera photo. Based on this image alone, I think that perhaps the British Police could be forgiven.

And here's a photo of the woman in question.

Poll time: What do you think, based on the speed camera photo, where the Police justified in suggesting that the driver appeared to be male?

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Following on from a post I wrote, 10 tips to becoming a make money online sheep, a couple of weeks ago, Dave from AffiliateBestPrograms.com has written his own list, the 10 secret confessions of super affiliates. Funny stuff.

If you want to read the story of one woman's unsuccessful attempt at a 2008 Darwin Award then read on.

"A Mount Gambier woman has warned the community against cleaning lawnmowers in bedrooms while smoking."

That's some pretty solid advice I would have thought.

"Ms Goldsworthy said she tipped the lawnmower over to clean it when fuel spilled out onto the floor. 'I dropped my cigarette from my mouth and the next moment there was this huge explosion,' she said."

(more...)

Here are a collection of nuggets and assorted side show oddities that have amused me over the last 24 hours, an might just brighten your day as well.

As far as attention grabbing introductory sentences for a news story go, the following is going to take a lot of beating (so to speak):

A TERRITORY man filmed himself speeding at 150km/h while masturbating at the wheel of his drug-laden car, a court heard.

Source: Northern Territory News

Yup, that little nugget made the front page of the Northern Territory News, along with an equally thought provoking headline, "Is this bloke a complete tosser?".

You want more? The prosecutor said in court that:

...the father-of-three told police he "had masturbated while driving'' just before he was stopped for speeding on the 130km/h stretch of the Stuart Hwy.

"(He) also video recorded himself masturbating while travelling at a speed of 150km/h.''

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